Taking Over Me
by JulesSC
Summary: When Edward left Bella in New Moon, she never recovered. Saying her final goodbyes to the world, she hopes to get some peace. But something goes wrong and she ends up as a ghost. 75 years later, Edward and the Cullens comes back and finds her ghost. ExB.
1. Taking Over Me

_**A/N:**__ If you're worried I'm going to abandon Bella Hale, I promise I won't. I'm on a writer's block for every other story except that one, so no worries. This is just something I felt like I had to get out because it was haunting me. LOL. It's darker, but I hope you'll enjoy it nonetheless if you read it. Please review and tell me what you think. Thank you._

_P.S. This story will also have alternate POVs, but only from Edward and Bella's._

_**Disclaimer:**__ SM owns it all._

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_Bella's POV_

_September, 2006_

I remembered it with perfect clarity. The moment when he left me. He had brought me to the forest, had broken my heart and had disappeared without a trail.

Did I wished that I had never seen him? Did I wished that he hadn't entered my life? Did I wished that we had never once crossed paths?

No. I could never wished that. How could I when he was the very reason for my existence?

When he left me, everything was broken. My heart. My soul. My life.

I was in a catatonic state for a week. I supposed I was just trying to grasp the reality that he was no longer with me. But I couldn't do it. I couldn't come back to the harsh world of the living. It was too painful. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't contain the pain in my heart, I wanted it all to stop.

So I stayed in my little safe haven, in my mind. He was there with me.

Edward.

He was so incredibly beautiful. The epitome of love. His bronze hair, his topaz eyes, his beautiful crooked smile. Everything about him drew me in.

We stayed in the meadow I have fallen in love with at first sight. In a way, it was a symbol of our love. We just stayed together, staring at the endless sun. We talked as he held my plain, ordinary body to his magnificent, sparkling one.

He would kiss me, hold me and repeated 'I love you' to me all the time. And I would believe him.

I didn't care if it was a lie, I didn't care if my father thought I was too far gone that I needed psychiatric help.

I just cared that Edward loved me.

And then my father called Renee. She was supposed to take me back to sunny Jacksonville. I was supposed to leave.

But I couldn't do that.

My room, there in Forks, in the town I used to despise…That was where he would stay with me every night and hold me. The window where he came in was always open for him.

And just a few miles away from my house, laid his house. Beautiful, white, majestic.

It was where he used to live with his family, where he played the piano, joked with his siblings, experienced love from his parents.

It was where he was.

So I snapped out of my fantasy world. I drew back into a world where Edward didn't love me, where Edward didn't want me.

I threw a fit at Renee, but I learnt to calm down. I knew I couldn't fool anyone into thinking I was doing any better, but I told them I just needed time to get better. Soon they left me alone to heal.

But I knew from the moment he said goodbye that I would never heal.

So when Charlie finally left me to myself without anyone to watch over me, and when Renee had gone back to Jacksonville, and when Angela and Sam Uley who had found me on the forest floor had left me alone as well, I did what any heartbroken woman would do.

My entire life before Edward, I took care of Renee. She was my mother biologically, but technically, I was the mother and she was the daughter. She was a child at heart, and I was an adult at heart. I never minded it. I wouldn't have appreciated being molly coddled. I would have hated it.

When Edward came into my life, I was more than happy to surrender my love to him. I might not have understood him the moment I saw him, but I was entranced by him. He was beautiful, not just physically, either.

He saw himself as a monster, but I knew better. He made the choice of living off of animal blood. He didn't want to hurt others to gratify himself. He heard their thoughts, and I'm sure that made it all the more harder-to hear his victims' dying thoughts.

But he was so much more than that. He loved his family dearly. He was an amazing musician. He was the perfect gentleman.

And he loved me.

I didn't know if it had been a lie the whole time. I didn't know if it had been a joke. Maybe he had simply gotten bored at some point, or maybe it had all been a twisted prank of some sort from the very beginning.

All I knew was that I was happy pretending he cared for me. I was happy believing he loved me. I would have continued doing so for as long as he would have me.

But he didn't want me.

My life revolved around Edward the moment I laid eyes on him. My life became Edward. Nothing else mattered. If I could have one simple moment with him, just one more, to see his face, his beautiful eyes, his glorious self…I would die a happy woman.

But I couldn't have a moment with him. Not now, not ever.

I remembered telling Charlie in the morning goodbye. I remembered telling him I would have one last day to myself before I'd go back to school tomorrow. He'd been reluctant about my going back to school-his memories would plague me there.

Charlie didn't understand. His memories would plague me anywhere. I could have gone to China and would have still connected him to something there.

So I told him I would be fine. I told him that I wanted to drive up to the Cullens' house and say my final goodbye.

He had been reluctant about that, too, but I told him I needed to. Alone.

I had to tell him. I had to make sure he knew where to find me. I couldn't let him just stew over it and worry himself to death. I needed him to be safe and happy.

I had watched Charlie drive off. I had waved him off as I watched him leave for his weekly fishing trips down at La Push with a forced smile. I knew he could see right through me but he gave me a phony smile back.

Once he was out of sight, and I was all by myself in the house, I went to my room and took out my notepad. I begun to write.

_Dear Charlie,_

_Please know that nothing is your fault. I wanted it to be this way. I know you think it's wrong but it's exactly what I need. I couldn't bear to live without him. He was my everything. He still is. I needed him with me._

_I don't have anything left for me. You and Renee and even Phil meant a lot to me, please don't doubt that, but Edward…He was my love._

_I doubt you'll ever see him again, but if you do, please tell him that I loved him. Forever and always._

_Don't fall off the edge, daddy. You need to be strong. You need to find someone to love, too, and never let them go. Live for me, daddy. You and mom and Phil. I love you always._

_Bella._

I wrote a letter to Renee and Phil, as well. It was similar to the one I wrote to Charlie. I even left a note to Angela because I thought she was the sweetest girl I'd ever met. I had grown close to her and she was…Like me, I believe. She cared, and that was enough. I told her to be happy with her life, to move on and be with Ben or whomever she wanted to be with for the rest of her life. I told them all to forgive and forget.

I left the letters on Charlie's bed, the envelopes addressing them to their rightful owners.

I wore the blue shirt he loved and a white fluffy skirt that Alice had bought for me.

I had missed her too.

I grabbed my bag and went out to my truck.

At times like these, I was glad no one else I knew was clairvoyant.

I drove all the way to the familiar white house.

When I got inside, everything was almost the same. Almost. The house was quiet, just like the first time I went there. Only this time, Edward wasn't with me. None of the Cullens were in the house.

I took my time. I strolled outside the house, going from the garden that Esme loved to the river, to the boulder I once sat with Emmett when he told me stories about wrestling with grizzly bears once he'd been changed. I went into the house and went to the living room and the kitchen. Every inch of the place shock me with memories. I sat down at his piano and ran my fingers lightly along the keys. I wondered if I would remember him when I was gone.

I went up the stairs and went into each room I could find. There was Carlisle's and Esme's room…Somewhere I'd never been into before. The furniture were still intact. I could just picture them in here. The color, the style…It suited them.

Then there was Emmett's and Rosalie's room. I had to giggle at the fake bear carpet on the floor. I wondered how Rosalie had ever agreed to Emmett's idea. Maybe that was why she had left it behind. It was unwanted.

Just like me.

The room I entered next was clearly Alice's and Jasper's. There was a huge bed. It had purple sheets on them. Poor Jasper. The bathroom was probably even bigger than Carlisle's and Esme's. Did Alice somehow swap for the master bedroom?

I went into Carlisle's study and Jasper's library.

And then there was his room. It was so different that the first time I saw it. The CDs were all gone. The shelves were empty. The black couch was gone. The only remaining thing was the golden carpet. I stared at it and tears blurred my vision. It was the same color as his eyes.

I sat on the golden carpet and placed my sling bag on the floor next to me. I took out my notepad and begun to write again. I needed him to know, I needed him to understand.

_Edward my love,_

_You were my everything. You were my life, my soul, my heart. I'm sorry for breaking my promise. I couldn't just sit around and pretend like everything was alright. I couldn't do it._

_I waited for you to come back, maybe for a little while. But I understood that you didn't want me, and I had to accept it. I wanted you to know that no matter what, you have my love._

_Know that I never blamed you. Know that I believed you to be a wonderful man. I couldn't force you to love me._

_You should know that when I wrote this, I knew that I would have mere minutes left to live. And in these few minutes, I would want to express just how much I love you. You made me the luckiest girl in the world, just by loving me. Just by being with me. I knew you had to leave. I wanted you to keep pretending you loved me, but it wasn't right. You had to leave and be happy._

_So I hoped that you did find happiness. I hoped that you and the others would live eternity in the best way possible. And if you ever came back and found my letter, I hoped you would find some peace._

_Tell Alice I'm sorry I left the letter in her room-I didn't know where else to put it. And tell her I'm sorry for always being so stubborn._

_Tell Rosalie I'm sorry for making her angry. I never intended to make her feel as if I would jeopardize her secret._

_Tell Jasper I'm sorry for being so careless. He must have felt horrible about his control. I never blamed him and he shouldn't feel guilty. It was my fault._

_Tell Esme, Emmett and Carlisle that I was incredibly happy that they accepted me without question. It was wonderful to feel like I had a big brother, and Esme and Carlisle were amazing as people I could consider my own family._

_Lastly, Edward, I'm sorry if I had ever upset you. I only wanted to love you, and be loved in return. It was selfish of me. If you ever returned to this place, know that I would always love you. I'm sorry for causing such trouble by doing this. I just couldn't live anymore. Not without you. It wasn't your fault. Know that, too._

_I love you, Edward._

_Bella._

I placed it in the last envelope and grabbed my bag. Standing up, I looked around the room once more. It smelled faintly of him. I closed my eyes and took in huge lungful of air, taking in his scent.

I smiled and opened my eyes. "Goodbye, Edward."

I walked out of his room, went back to Alice's room and placed the letter under the covers so no one but her or Jasper would find it.

I went back to the living room and stood where he and I had stood for the very first time I came here. We were being greeted by his parents.

I took out the metal in my bag, the one I shouldn't have with me, and dropped my bag to the floor. I wouldn't need it now.

Facing the piano so I would have one last memory of him, I bit back my sob and held back my tears. I didn't know how to do this, or where. I decided on the one place where it hurt so much it should have stopped working by now.

My heart.

The barrel of the gun pointed to my chest, my eyes never leaving the piano, I imagined Edward still sitting there, playing me my lullaby.

Humming it to myself between gasps of sobs, I cocked the gun. "I love you," I whispered. My last words.

A loud sound shocked me. My hand felt like it had been burnt. I couldn't move my legs. Everything was red.

I saw his face. I saw his smile. I had to get to him. How? I couldn't move. "Edward!" I shouted, but my words were silent. I had already spoken my last words. I had no voice left, no breath.

I kept struggling against the strong pull of darkness. I couldn't let it consume me. I kept pushing and pulling and struggling away from it. God, it was so heavy.

I yelled his name, over and over again. His hands reached out towards me, his arms opened as if they were waiting to embrace me. I smiled a little and yelled for him again.

This time my voice came out loud and clear. I reached out and held onto him. The darkness faded slowly.

So did he.

I stood facing away from the piano, on my own two feet. I glanced around my confusedly. Hadn't I pointed the gun at my heart? Hadn't I pulled the trigger? Hadn't I died?

I looked to the ground to find the gun. Maybe I hadn't done it right. I should probably try again.

What I saw shocked me.

A woman laid face down on the ground. Her long brown hair spread wildly about her. One hand was trapped underneath her and the floor. One hand reached out to the piano. I could see a pool of blood slowly growing bigger from underneath her.

I wanted to reach out and touch her, but when I did, my fingers slid right through her. I gasped.

There was nothing I could do. I kept calling for someone to help her, but no one answered me. I kept trying to get away from the house, to call for help, but I couldn't make it past the garden. The driveway was empty except for a red Chevy.

So I went back inside the house and watched over her. It was unnerving, to watch a dead woman, but I didn't know what else to do. I curled up on the floor next to the piano, my back resting against the cool wood. I drew my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around my legs. I rocked myself back and forth.

I didn't understand this. I was able to touch the wood, but I couldn't touch her. Why? Why wasn't I able to help her?

Nightfall came. I must have sat there for hours. When I had went out of the house, it had been day.

I heard the rumble of engine outside and someone yelling. The door burst open and three men stepped inside. The first was a middle aged man. Tall, and a little gruff. His hair was black with specks of pepper on it. He saw the body and his entire face fell. He looked so heartbroken I didn't know if he could even stand.

But he walked all the way to her.

"Bella?" he croaked.

Bella? Was that her name? It was pretty.

He turned her over, and I gasped again. She looked…Her lips were a little uneven-her lower slightly bigger than her top. Her features were soft, kind. Her eyes were closed but I knew her irises were brown.

I knew because she was me.

I looked down at myself for the first time. I had on the same clothes that she did. Only, mine wasn't coated in blood. Mine was clean, fresh.

"Bella, no," this man cried, hugging the body to him.

I stood up, clearing my throat, but the man didn't budge. The other two men in the room didn't look at me, either.

Well, that was just plain rude.

"Charlie," one of the men said. I glanced at him. He had long hair, and seemed to be of a Native American descent. "She's gone. I'm sorry, Charlie. We have to call the police."

Charlie, the man holding my dead body to his live one, didn't answer. He kept on crying. I wished I could remember him. I must have meant a lot to him, for him to cry like that. Why? Who was he?

The other man, also of a Native American descent, sat next to Charlie while the one who spoke went out the door. I think I heard him talking. He must be on the phone, calling the authorities.

"Oh, God," Charlie kept repeating. The other man was a boy, really. He was tall, though. His hair, too, was long. His kind brown eyes looked stricken with grief as he looked at my dead body. He patted Charlie on the back.

I watched for hours as people I didn't know came and went. They took my body out of the house eventually, but I still couldn't leave the perimeters beyond the garden.

Charlie had driven a police cruiser here, I'd seen. But he drove my Chevy home, while one of the men he had came with took his car.

Too soon, I was all alone.

In a way, it was comforting.

All those people surrounding this place…I shuddered. It didn't feel right.

This was meant as a sanctuary, as a place where you didn't have to hide or be afraid to show yourself. None of them could have seen me, of course, but I still didn't like them being here.

This was his house.

I remembered him. His smile. I remembered his smile.

I couldn't remember his name. I knew it was there, in the back of my mind, but it hurt to look for it.

So I went up the stairs and went into a room to rest. I didn't particularly feel tired. I just wanted to lay back and let go of what had happened today.

I found a room, almost bare. It had a wardrobe, a bathroom, and a golden carpet on the floor. But there was no bed, no vanity, nothing.

I sighed. This felt like home.

Strange.

I went to the golden carpet and laid down, hands behind my head. I stared at the ceiling and closed my eyes.

He came to me then. His sparkling body taunted my normalcy. But I couldn't look away. I had to get closer. I had to touch him. I had to be with him. He called my name, and held out his hand. I reached out to take it, but he disappeared before my very eyes.

He turned around and ran faster than I could follow. His bronze hair was the last thing I saw as he darted through the trees.

My eyes snapped open. Trees? I was in a house…There were no trees. Where had I dreamt I was?

Where was he?

I sighed as my eyes adjusted to the familiar room.

There were a lot of things I was unsure of, a lot of questions I needed answers to.

But certain things I already knew.

My name was Bella. I was a woman in love. I had been heartbroken. And I had committed suicide.

Would he find me?

_Please. Find me. Come back to me._

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That was it, chapter 1. Please tell me if you want me to continue this…Alright, I probably will just continue anyway. I just wanted you to know that if you are reading this, Edward and the Cullens would move back to their house in Chapter 2 and find out everything.

Wonder if they could see her…Hmm…

LOL.

Sorry if I'm repeating something someone else already wrote. I was just listening to songs, Evanescence came on, and Taking Over Me reminded me of how Bella and Edward (I'm guessing) felt during their time apart in NM.

I hope you enjoyed it and please review, even if you don't and wanted to bash me or anything.

Thank you.

Juliet.


	2. You Don't Remember Me

_**A/N:**__ I'm glad you guys have taken to this story quite well. Yes, I realize that it's a little depressing, but NM was a depressing time. Well, here's Edward and the Cullens finding out…_

_**Disclaimer:**__ SM owns it all._

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_Edward's POV_

It has been seventy five years since we'd been in Forks. I really hadn't wanted to come back. It would remind me too much of Bella.

But Esme had insisted. She missed the house too much. Alice, too, wanted to come back. She had missed Bella, as well, and had wanted to see the remains of Bella's life. She wanted to know if Bella had married, if her children and her grandchildren were still around. If Bella was still around.

I didn't want to know. I didn't want to see. I had promised her never to come back, so I couldn't. But I had just returned to the family ten years ago. Carlisle had been adamant that I came with them.

I wouldn't be going to Forks High, though. It was too much of a reminder. It would have changed drastically by now. Seventy five years had gone by, after all. But I would still see her everywhere I went.

If I were to sit in Biology class, I'd remember her next to me, her sweet scent enveloping me in a warm rush. If I were to sit in the cafeteria, I'd remember her asking me so bravely questions about my life any other human would die not to hear.

I couldn't do it.

Jasper, Alice, Rosalie and Emmett would, though.

Jasper still felt the remorse of attacking that day. Bella hadn't blamed him and neither had I. He still felt guilty for not being able to control himself.

Alice berated herself for not stopping me from making my decision. She called it a mistake. So did I.

Rosalie was finally starting to understand how much Bella meant to me. She still hated the fact that Bella had come into our lives at all. She hated that Bella had such an impact on me, and the rest of the family. But she understood my love for Bella was unconditional. She saw what it did to me to be away from her. And in her deepest thoughts, she missed the humanity Bella brought with her. Just a little.

Emmett felt like he had lost a little sister. He had been on good terms with Bella. He and Alice had treated her like a part of the family. He had accepted her vision of her becoming a part of our family without question.

Esme and Carlisle felt like they had lost a daughter, Esme especially. In their minds, they had lost me, too.

I drove up to the white mansion we always occupied when we came to Forks. It looked the same as it had before, but it felt…Empty to be here.

I stayed in my car while the others slowly went inside. From their minds, I could tell that they, too, were plagued with memories of Bella.

I sighed. There really was no point in staying out here. I just had to get it over with. At least I'd be able to stay home. Not that anyone could push me to do anything else, really.

Rosalie had tried to set me up with one of her vampire friends from Norway. Needless to say, I had almost torn both their heads off their shoulders.

Esme had chided Rosalie for being so tactless, and Emmett had pretty much told me matter-of-factly to calm down. He really hadn't wanted to lose his mate.

Well, neither had I.

I went into the house and stiffened. Everyone was crowded in the living room. I walked over slowly to them, their thoughts becoming clearer each second.

_Dried blood? Whose…_

_What the hell happened here?_

_Oh, dear. Had someone been killed in our house?_

_Why didn't I see this?_

_Was it a vampire's doing?_

_I hope that's not going to stain…_

I stood next to Jasper and stared at the dark patch of dried blood. It was glaring, so contrasting against the white floor. I couldn't catch a scent of it, so it must have been quite some time ago.

I raised my eyes slowly to Carlisle, who looked as baffled as I did. "Do you have any theories?" I asked him, knowing fully well that he didn't.

Carlisle cleared his throat and shook his head, coming out of his shocked state. "No, I don't," he mused. "Maybe…Did someone get killed here?" he turned to Alice.

She shook her head, her face pulled into a frown. "I can only see the future. I couldn't…I don't know," she said desperately.

_Edward, I feel strange_, she said to me through her thoughts. _I feel like…Like we're not the only ones here? No, it can't be. Do you sense anything?_

I shook my head, almost imperceptibly.

Jasper wrapped an arm around Alice's waist. "Come on, darlin'," he drawled. "Let's fix up the computer. Maybe we could search for what happened? The body isn't here, so someone must have removed it…Maybe humans did?"

Alice sighed, rubbing her temples. She was upset and not being able to see what had caused this, and the strange feeling like someone was here besides us.

She nodded her head and smiled at Jasper. "It's our best bet," she agreed.

They moved up to their rooms, each carrying a stack of boxes weightlessly. I heard them going up to their room and moving things about. Emmett and Rosalie did the same. Esme and Carlisle moved around the living room, straightening things out.

I closed my eyes and took in a huge breath. My eyes snapped open. A huge burst of freesia had hit me hard. I looked around. Freesia? No, I was dreaming…Of course, I couldn't actually dream.

I turned to look at Esme and Carlisle, but they, too, had stopped whatever they were doing.

"Son," Carlisle said tentatively. I knew he was afraid to say anything that could potentially set me off. "Did you smell…That?" he asked lamely.

I nodded my head mutely and looked around. The freesia had smelt too strong to have been a hallucination. It's scent still lingered in the air. Even my parents had smelled it.

Emmett bounded down the stairs, then. "Hey, Esme, Rose wanted to know where the-" He stopped as he caught the freesia scent. "Doesn't that smell like…" He shot a worried look in my direction.

A cold gust of air burst through the kitchen, and we all turned in that direction. My jaw dropped when Bella, my Bella, came through the kitchen door.

She was wearing the blue shirt I had loved on her, and a white skirt. She looked impeccable, if not outdated. She looked…Just as she had seventy five years ago. From her clothes to her eyes, to her hair to everything.

The only thing wrong with the image was her frown. She stopped when she saw us. She didn't look as if she recognized us. I wondered for a moment if I was imagining it, or if she were someone else.

I took in another deep breath and shook that thought out of my head. She was definitely Bella. "Bella," I breathed, taking in her beautiful face. I wanted nothing more than to rush up to her and pull her into a huge embrace.

But she looked outraged. She moved so quickly, I hadn't even seen it. I blinked when she was suddenly in front of me. "What are you doing here?" she screamed at me. I flinched at the volume of her voice. And her tone…It was so filled with pain, and hatred and loss…

"Who are you?" she turned around and screamed at Esme, Carlisle and Emmett.

Emmett recovered first and walked slowly towards her, hand outstretched in front of him as if he were telling her she needn't be afraid-he was harmless. "Uh, Bella…It's us," he said slowly. "Remember? I'm Emmett-"

"You can't be here!" Bella fumed. "Get out!" she yelled, and the vase behind me cracked and burst into pieces. Some of the pieces hit me but I barely blinked. It didn't hurt at all. I stared at Bella, open mouthed.

"This is his house!" Bella said. "It's his. He has to come back…I'm waiting," she whispered. Her wild eyes darted around.

I stepped forward, swallowing hard. "Bella?" I asked quietly. "Bella, love?"

She started, and looked at me. Then she was in front of me again. "You look like him," she whispered, trailing one cold hand down my cheek. I barely felt her ghost of a touch. "So much like him," her voice broke.

Before I could say anything, she had fled to the spot of blood on the floor. She looked up at us again, her brown eyes shimmering with silver tears. I started. Silver? When were tears silver?

"Edward!" Alice screamed, barreling down the stairs. She looked too heartbroken, her thoughts too scattered for me to read. She took one look at Bella and broke down. I noticed the letter in her hand.

When I turned to Bella, her sorrow filled eyes met mine. I saw a glimmer of hope. "Edward?" she repeated, as if she was starting to remember something.

As quickly as she'd arrived, she vanished. Into thin air. How had that happened?

Alice answered my question. "She's dead, Edward. She killed herself seventy five years ago… Bella's dead."

I sank to my knees, staring at the dried pool of Bella's blood. My body started to shake with uncontrollable sobs. What had I done?

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I hadn't moved. Not since Bella disappeared. I kept staring at the blood. I wanted her to reappear. I wanted to ask her, I wanted to hold her.

Could you embrace a ghost?

Was that what she was?

Alice had read the letter, as had everyone else. I didn't have to-I saw it all in their minds. I had taken the letter, though, and I had tucked it away in my pocket. It was the last thing Bella had left for me.

No one else could move, either. They were seated in the living room. Esme had given up trying to get me to move. Even Emmett couldn't pry me off the floor.

Alice was dry sobbing into Jasper's shirt, her body shaking with grief. Even Rosalie was upset.

"Bella," I whispered finally, after four hours of silence. "Bella, please come back."

Like the answer to my prayers, she floated down the stairs. How had I not noticed before that she didn't walk? She floated. Like she was basically walking on air.

Her angry eyes surveyed us. "I told you to leave!" she snapped. "You can't be here!"

I stood up on shaky legs. So did my family. "Bella…" I whispered, coming closer.

"NO!" she yelled, silver tears dripping from behind her eyes. "He's coming back!" she screamed. "He has to!"

Alice sniffed, and bit her lip. "What happened to you, Bella?" she asked softly.

Bella stopped screaming, and her head turned to the dried blood on the floor. "He killed me," she said softly.

I froze. Someone had murdered my Bella? Who was it? Had it been a vampire? Did I know him? I had to track him down, and kill him myself.

But wait. Hadn't she left a suicide note? Why had she done that when someone else had killed her?

"Who?" Esme asked, her quiet voice laced with anger and confusion.

"Him," Bella looked down, floating to the piano. "He played for me…I loved him," she whispered, her pale fingers trailing along the piano.

My dead heart broke. Me. I had killed her. I was the one who murdered her. That was how she saw it. I felt like breaking down all over again. I squeezed my eyes shut. "Bella," my voice broke as I said her name.

When I opened my eyes, she had drifted over to me. "He didn't love me back," she whispered to me, almost as if it were a secret. "He left me. I-I…Didn't know what to do. The pain…It was too much. I couldn't live. I didn't want to. I had to leave. He had to know how much I love him," she said.

She floated back towards the pool of blood. "Can you find him? He ran away…Somewhere in the woods. I can't leave the house. I don't know why. I-I'm so confused. You have to tell him."

She floated over to where Alice was. "You have to tell him I love him. Tell him I did this for him. Does he see it now?"

She was suddenly at the piano, standing right next to it. Her hands were pressed against her chest where her heart would have been. When she pulled away, her hands were covered in blood. Her shirt was becoming stained with them. The blood slowly trickled down her skirt.

It had no effect on any one of us because it technically wasn't there. The blood wasn't there. She wasn't there. Just a reminder of what was.

She held out her blood stained hands, her tears pouring down her beautiful face. "Does he love me now?" she whispered brokenly.

I took a step forward, but she had already disappeared.

With a howl of anguish, I dropped to the floor, my heart and soul calling out for my true love.

______________________________________________________________________________

To answer some questions I know will probably come:

Bella doesn't remember the Cullens because it's been 75 years. As a ghost, her memories started to fade. Her 'dreams' started to play tricks on her mind, so she's incredibly confused.

Yes, she will find out about Edward and the Cullens-she's already remembering Edward.

What will she do? Only time will tell.

What will Edward do? Same answer as above question. That generally means I HAVE NO IDEA. But it'll come to me, don't worry.

Anything else?? Feel free to ask. I don't want to confuse anyone because anytime I read a story with supernatural aspects, I easily get confused if it hadn't been explained properly.

Thank you for reading. Please review.

Juliet.


	3. But I Remember You

**A/N:** Okay, I know I want ExB. I just have no idea how to turn a ghost into a corporeal being. But I'll figure something out, so don't worry. It'll definitely be ExB, cuz I love happy endings. I hope you'll bear with me as the story continues.

**Disclaimer:** SM owns it all.

**POVs:** Edward, Bella

________________________________________________________________________________

_Bella's POV_

They were still here. For days, none of them left the house. I watched the sun set, rose and set again, and they still sat there. None of them moved from the living room. The girl who looked like Snow White, with the short black hair…She cried. So did the beautiful woman with her caramel hair.

The man with the bronze hair…He was in pain. I recognized that pain. I'd felt that pain. I still felt it.

Why was he so familiar? It was like he was a part of my past. They all were. But why? Where? Who were they?

Why was he so heartbreakingly beautiful? Even with the sadness in his eyes, even though his face was contorted with grief, he looked so beautiful.

He bent over the bloody stain on the floor, his trembling hands next to it. Occasionally, he would reach out as if to touch the bloody stain, but he would pull back before pale white met red.

Finally, I couldn't take it any longer. I appeared at the window where I usually sat, where I would gaze out into the forest to look for any sign of _him_.

"Bella?" a sweet, musical voice called out to me.

I met his golden gaze. "Bella?" I repeated slowly, confused. That was my name. I remembered Charlie, the man who found my body, calling me that. Bella was my name. "How did you know my name?"

Had I told it to them somehow? I didn't remember it.

"Bella…" he said again, his voice filled with sorrow.

I walked slowly to him, and bent down so that I was eye to eye with him. Again, I couldn't resist trailing my finger down his cheek. To my cold hand, his skin felt slightly warmer. Only slightly. I could still feel the ice beneath my fingers.

"Who are you?" I whispered.

He took in a ragged breath and slowly opened his eyes. "Edward," he said quietly. "I'm Edward."

Edward?

I think his name was Edward, too.

I frowned.

"Did you know me?" I asked, the pieces coming together. I still felt so hazy, so lost…

He nodded his head slowly. "Bella, love," he whispered brokenly. "It's me, Edward. I love you, Bella, please…Please."

I didn't know what he was pleading me for. His head bowed as if he was saying a prayer.

"You knew me?" I said again, but this time I was merely confirming it. Love? Edward? Bella? Please?

These words resounded in my head, and I shot away from him. I went back to the piano and sat down on the bench. I pretended _he _was here with me, and closed my eyes.

My fingers pressed down on the keys and I played the lullaby I had always heard in my head. I hummed along with it.

I felt another presence next to me and my eyes flew open in outrage. How dare anyone touch this piano? It was his! No one but him and me could touch it! My head swiveled around to see the bronze haired boy playing the piano next to me. His sad eyes never left mine.

My eyes widened as I realized that he was playing the lullaby. My lullaby.

"You," I whispered, coming to a sudden realization.

_We were in a meadow. The place was so beautiful. I wanted nothing more than to stay here forever, with my Edward._

"_You're not afraid of me?" he asked, his voice light with amusement and love. Underneath it, though, I sensed the concern and fear that I might actually be afraid of him. That I might actually want to leave._

_Silly vampire._

"_Not more than usual," I teased, my fingers trailing down his arm, drawing circles on his marble skin. I stared at his perfectly sculptured chest, sparkling in the sun. He was mine. All mine._

A meadow. Edward. And me. Vampire.

_We sat in the rocking chair, Edward holding me close while we basked in each other's presence. I was so caught up with the feel of him that I hadn't noticed he had changed clothes._

"_You left?"_

"_I could hardly leave in the clothes I came in. What would the neighbors think?" I pouted at him, and he smiled. "I didn't miss a thing. The talking came earlier."_

_I groaned, embarrassed. He couldn't have left before the talking started? "What did you hear?"_

_His topaz eyes softened and he smiled that crooked smile I loved. "You said you loved me."_

"_You already knew that."_

"_It was nice to hear, just the same."_

_I hid my face against his shoulder, breathing in his sweet scent. What was it about him that made him so…Intoxicating? "I love you," I whispered._

"_You are my life now," he replied, staring into my ordinary brown eyes, dazzling me._

I love you. Please come back.

"_You don't want me?" I whispered, my once whole heart breaking into pieces right in front of him._

"_No."_

Please don't. Don't leave me. I need you. I love you. My heart belonged to you. Please…

I reached out to touch his face, and his eyes fluttered close. "Bella," he whispered. "Bella, I love you."

"Do you?" I asked, coming closer to him. I wished he would open his eyes. I'd spent seventy five years without looking at them. As if listening to my command, he opened his eyes and stared at me.

"Of course I do…The forest, Bella…I never meant it. I-I was trying to protect you. Please, Bella-"

The forest. When he'd told me he never loved me. When he'd told me he didn't want me.

I glanced down at my chest. The red stain was already showing. "I was happy pretending," I whispered, looking up into his pained, alarmed eyes. "I was happy not knowing you didn't care. I'm so sorry."

Without a second glance, I ran up the stairs.

******************************************************************************

I reached his room, and collapsed on the golden carpet. I sobbed, letting it all out. My silver tears glittered on my cheeks. And when they fell on the carpet, they vanished the moment they hit the ground.

Edward.

My Edward.

He was here.

I had waited so long for him to show up, I had waited forever.

And there he was, sitting downstairs, playing our song on his piano.

My love for him was still strong. I wanted him to come to me, I wanted him to hold me in his arms, and tell me 'I love you'. I didn't care if he would only do it out of pity. I just wanted it.

But I couldn't have it. I was no longer corporeal. I couldn't touch people. Inanimate objects wasn't a problem for me. It took fifty years for me to actually learn to play the piano and perfect my lullaby, but I could touch everything in the house from the moment I died.

Not him, though. I couldn't touch him. When I did, he couldn't even feel me.

I sobbed harder, one hand gripping the golden carpet, the other clutching my heart. "Edward," I gasped in between sobs.

I was so sorry for what I had done. I had just wanted it all to be over. I hadn't realized that I would be stuck here in this world forever. Had I known…

All I wanted now was to touch him, and have him feel it. All I wanted was for him to kiss me one last time.

What had I done?

******************************************************************************

_Edward's POV_

I watched Bella shot up the stairs, and heard her sobbing from somewhere upstairs. My heart broke again. _How many times can a heart be broken before it could no longer be mended_?

I had done this to her. I had killed her. Because of my selfish act, I had abandoned her in such a heartless manner and had drove her to the point of suicide.

No wonder she hated the sight of me. Now that she remembered who I was, what I did to her, no wonder she couldn't stand being near me.

I turned towards the rest of my family.

I cringed at their thoughts. I hadn't focused on it before, blocking it out subconsciously.

_Oh, God, the emotions in this room are unbearable. It's interesting that I could feel Bella's emotions now, too. Instead of being weaker, they're stronger. Man, I feel so sorry for her. It's all my fault she's like that. That she…Killed herself._

_My best friend! Bella! How could this have happened? How…Why didn't I see it? We shouldn't have left. I kept saying that. I kept saying we should have gone back. I should have done it with or without Edward. Oh, God, Bella!_

_My poor dear. She was always so sweet. So gentle, so caring. Edward, how could you? What did you do to her that made her like that? That made her…She killed herself. No one was there to save her the way Carlisle saved me. I just…I need to think. I need to sit._

_Did she really feel all that strongly towards Edward? Wow. I had no idea. I'm so sorry Edward…I wished I was kinder to her._

_Man, I'm sorry, bro. Whatever this is…I hope it will all work out in the end. Sorry, man._

_Son, go up and talk to her. We need to know everything. And if there's a chance for her to move on…_

"Move on?" I shouted at Carlisle. "She died because of me! I'm…I don't know what this is, but I'll fix her. I'll stay with her. If she's bound to this earth forever, then I'll stay with her," I said firmly, resolving to do just that.

Carlisle shook his head. "From what I know of spirits, it is that they are not forever bound. They normally have a purpose before they move on into the next world. It is just the way it is. Son, I think in this case, her purpose is you. She had to say a last goodbye," he explained, his tone soft. He looked at me with sympathetic eyes.

I took a step back. "No! No! She can't say her last goodbye. There is no last goodbye. I want her here, with me. She can't leave me. I won't let her!"

"Oh, what, the way you left her!" Alice shot at me, her topaz eyes filled with sorrow. "I told you-"

"Now isn't the time for that, Alice," Esme chided gently, though she came over and wrapped Alice in a motherly hug.

I closed my eyes, placing my hand over them. "I only wanted to keep her safe. I never meant for any of this to happen," I whispered, knowing fully well that they could hear me.

Rosalie glared at me. "What the hell did you say to her, Edward? What the hell made her commit suicide?"

I was surprised by her outburst. She and Bella had never been close when Bella was…Alive. Why the sudden change?

"I wanted her to be normal, too, you know?" she said, guessing the reason why I looked so shocked. "It's why I objected your relationship with her from the very beginning. If she's with a vampire, she won't be fully human. You'd change her one day, or she'd get killed. It's not right."

I cradled my head in my hands. "I told her…" I felt nauseated. I couldn't continue.

But I had to. They all wanted to know. Esme wanted to know. She was somewhere between slapping me because she knew it was my fault, and comforting me because I was her grief-stricken son.

"I told her I didn't love her anymore. I told her I didn't want her. That I got bored."

The room grew silent. _I _grew agitated. "It was the only way I knew," I muttered, standing up to pace. "She wouldn't have let me go. You have to understand," I begged. "I only wanted her to be safe, and happy and have a normal life. I thought that was what's best for her. I didn't…I didn't know."

Jasper looked at me grimly. "What we think doesn't matter-"

"The hell it doesn't," Emmett boomed, glaring at me. I knew he had gotten close to Bella, had even considered her his sister. I didn't blame him.

Alice's vision had told him that Bella would have been a part of the family. He had bonded with her, and found her human traits amusing. She had found the big brother she never had in him.

"-You have to go up there to talk to Bella," Jasper continued, ignoring Emmett. "The pain coming from her is strong, but the longing is much more evident. She wants you, Edward. Go."

With Jasper's words ringing in my ears, I ran up the stairs with renewed vigor.

******************************************************************************

I found Bella in my room. She was curled up on the golden carpet in the center of the room. Her entire body was shaking as she sobbed. I could see, all the way from the doorway, the silver tears making its way down her cheeks.

"Bella?" I asked quietly, stepping tentatively into the room.

Bella stopped sobbing, though silent tears still dripped down her deathly pale cheeks. "E-Edward?" she whispered.

I nodded my head. "Can I please come in?"

She smiled a little, blinking. "It's your room," she reminded me.

I approached her slowly, and sat down next to her. I wanted to touch her, but I wasn't sure if it was possible or if she allowed it. "I'm sorry, Bella," I said.

She turned her head away from me. "No! Please, don't go…I need you to hear me," I pleaded.

Slowly, she settled back next to me. "I…I love you. I loved you then, and I love you know. I only said I didn't because I had to get you to let me go. I wanted you to be safe, my Bella. I couldn't stand knowing that because of me, you'd get hurt. James did that. Jasper almost lost control. I could, too. At any given moment, just a drop of your blood would be enough to…" I sucked in a deep, unnecessary breath.

"So I lied to you. I said I didn't love you when you were the very reason for my existence. I said I didn't want you when my heart, my soul, belongs to only you…The past seventy-five years, Bella, have been nothing but torment. I went around looking for Victoria, to kill her. But I couldn't find her. I stayed away from my family and lived like a wild beast. When I returned, I stayed locked up in my room. I was almost comatose. I had lost you forever. I wanted to die."

Bella looked up shyly at me. "You don't have to lie so much, Edward," she shook her head. "Just pretend you love me, say it once, and I'd be happy."

I started to sob. "Please, Bella. You have to believe me. I love you. I love you, that's the truth. I wish I could hold you right now, I wish I could kiss you, and make you believe it. I wish I hadn't left, hadn't killed you this way. I wish I have you by my side for eternity," I said, tearless sobs wrecking my body.

Bella scooted closer to me, her wide brown eyes gazing at me. She studied my features, her pale face right next to me. I didn't dare move, didn't dare breathe. I was afraid I'd scare her away.

She batted her lashes against my cheek, and I felt something cold but ticklish on my marble skin. I smiled a little.

Bella giggled. I reached out to her, but she disappeared. She stood up and ran, straight through the wall, so quickly, I thought I had imagined the whole thing.

The lingering freesia scent was the only proof that I hadn't, in fact, lost my mind.

______________________________________________________________________________

I think I'm on to something that would keep Bella's ghost self in this world, and get her corporeal. I'd have to keep working on it but, like I said, it'll come to me.

Thank you for reading. Please review.

Juliet.


	4. Chapter 4

Hey, guys, it's me...Obviously. I just wanted to apologize for being MIA for so long. I have to admit I'm not the best under pressure. I started this to escape from the real world and it helped for the longest time - I received compliments instead of negativity and I started feeling invincible, like I could do anything. And I could, in a matter of speaking. Or is it, writing?

Anyway, I know it's not an excuse, after disappearing for...What, two years now? I've probably made a lot of you turn away from this, but I hope that _some_ are still loyal to BH and are continuing to read this way overdue posts. Life just got in the way. I think I'm suffering through a very delicate 'Dorothy Parker in the 20s & 30s' sort of a situation.

I sincerely hope that I've made up to at least some of you by posting the rest of BELLA HALE, every last chapter, at the same time, as well as seven new chapters for ADVENTURES OF SILLY BELLA.

At this point, I'm not so sure I will complete my other uncompleted stories. Not in the immediate future, anyway. I'm so sorry, but they're on hiatus for me - I'm just not feeling it. One of these days, I'm going to have to reread TWILIGHT SAGA all over again, and maybe I'll get the inspiration. I'm really sorry about that.

Back to BELLA HALE. I don't know if I'm entirely satisfied with how the James situation started out - it feels too rushed to me. I think I did my best to smooth it over for the rest of BH. The sequel is pending though at this point, I'm not even sure if I'll write it. I have a good plot, for the change and what'll happen with the Volturi, and even her first year, but then things take a more dramatic turn and I'm not sure if that's suitable for a BH flow (despite the few twists and turns, BH seems cheery to me and this new plot line is a little...Out there).

I'll continue writing a few more chapters for ADVENTURES OF SILLY BELLA, I think. Mostly, it's because I miss child-Bella. In the originals, we never get to see the childlike side of her or even the teenage side of her, really. She was so grown up. In Breaking Dawn, it's like everyone skipped their teenage phase and moved on to becoming people in their 20s or 30s. Maybe even middle aged. Then in BH, we do get to see it but we missed out on some of the 'cute moments' in a child's life. Some are purely for entertainment purposes, some have a deeper meaning. Whatever it is, it helps to see the innocence of a child's life.

Now, I know I'm probably disappointing a lot of you by not completing my other stories, but I do have quite a few others that I will be posting along with BH and ASB. They are on my profile, so just check them out if you want to:

- **The Distance Between Us**: a Twilight fan fiction. COMPLETED. Summary: It has been exactly a year since Edward left. Bella's been driving aimlessly for almost as long. Now, temporarily in NY, she runs across Alice and Emmett, half-mad. Alice figures out something is wrong when she could see the 'Edward hallucination' Bella keeps having, and none of the humans can. EXB.

- **The Strange Case of Edward Cullen**: a Twilight fan fiction. ONE-SHOT. COMPLETED. Summary: The many reasons why Edward Cullen is strange. AU love story. EXB.

- **The Monstrosity in Humanity**: a Twilight fan fiction. TWO-SHOT. COMPLETED. Summary: We all know that Renee had to have dated throughout Bella's childhood. What if her boyfriends weren't good men? What if this led to Bella having a very drastically different sort of past that no one knew about? This is Bella, engaged to Edward, telling him why she knew he wasn't a monster. EXB.

- **Sweet Reprieve**: a Twilight fan fiction. ONE-SHOT. COMPLETED. Summary: an outtake from a story I have outlined and even written for a few chapters. The story, entitled 'The Blue Hour' is basically Twilight with Alice and Jasper as the human-vampire couple, with the others already as Cullens. Bella is Rosalie's and Emmett's daughter since Rose was human when vampire Emmett met her and they had the whole hybrid baby Bella thing, and even though her story's changed, she's not the forerunner in this story. Alice and Jasper are, with strong undertones of Alice/Bella friendship/sisterhood. 'Sweet Reprieve' is Rosalie contemplating her new life as a vampire, mourning what she had lost, but being so happy over what she had found: a husband and children. It's sweet and fluffy.

- **When Jasper Met Bella**: a Twilight fan fiction. ONE-SHOT. COMPLETED. Summary: Another outtake from The Blue Hour. I haven't decided to post TBH yet, and if people like Sweet Reprieve and When Jasper Met Bella, then I will. This one is about how baby Bella helps her family (sans Alice) find Jasper and bring him into their family.

For BONES fans, since I don't think I will be continuing with my first BONES fan fiction, at least for now, I have other, better, ones:

- **The Evolution of Us**: a Bones fan fiction. ONE-SHOT. COMPLETED. Summary: A dream leads Brennan to evaluate her recent feelings towards Booth, as well as their odd co-dependent relationship. An epiphany comes to her - one that results in a funny, loving, Booth & Brennan sort of situation. Booth/Brennan, of course.

- **Heartbreak City**: a Bones fan fiction. Summary: Booth and Brennan are back in DC after a year apart, two completely different people. He has a blonde on his arm, seemingly out of love with her, and she has heartbreak in her eyes, having come to terms with her love for him. The two of them bend and pull and push, but in the end, they are always meant to be. The story of how they finally get together, but not without its share of heartbreak. Eventual BB.

- **The Clandestine Affair**: a Bones fan fiction. First 8 episode-chapters posted. Summary: Booth and Brennan have always been together, right from the Pilot episode. But Brennan has a secret - her life isn't as empty as Booth thinks it is. They not only find their way to being in love throughout every episode, they also find their way to being a family. P.S. If you're not into Brennan having kids pre-series, don't read. I just thought that if she had kids, someone to love and be loved for in return unconditionally, she'd understand love better and be more open to being with Booth. BB aren't going to be having their own kids until the epilogue, and I will be doing this story up to the 100th episode, so…I mean, if Brennan actually got pregnant, it would screw with the plot even more so we'll just stick to Booth having Parker and Brennan with her kids. Give it a shot, though, you might like it.

- **The Beginning of Forever**: a Bones fan fiction. First 17 chapters posted. Summary: Booth and Brennan met in high school, she a 15 year old junior in foster care and he a 17 year old junior with an abusive past, living with his brother and grandfather in Chicago. They met, they fell in love, they have conflicts, they stick it out together. This is a massive, epic, really long love/family story, with every chapter outlined thoroughly. This is my BONES baby, with a BB that's a lot like Bren and Booth even if they are still forensic anthropologist/FBI agent down the line. I'm really counting on your thoughts on this particular fan fiction, so if you like BONES, and aren't a fan of angst, please check this out and leave a line or two. Thank you.

To wrap things up here, I hope it's not too much to ask some of you to leave a review, however tiny, about the rest of BH, as well as the new chapters for ASB and my new stories. I hope to get you new chapters of my new, uncompleted stories soon. I promise I won't disappear on you for two years again.

Thank you, yet again, for everything. Your endless patience, your kind words, even your harsh ones, and your support. I couldn't have done all of this without any of you. You are my rock, giving me more than enough strength to pull through. You'll never know how thankful I am for everything you've done for me.

BH is over, even if the story isn't completely told (crosses fingers for sequel) but it's over just the same. 50 chapters...Wow. That's amazing. I can't believe I actually finished it. Thank you yet again for following me through this journey.

Now, I'm not sure how long it would take me to upload everything - FF is being weird on my computer - but I promise to try my hardest to have it all up by Sunday night. I wanted to upload everything before the new Bones season premiere tonight for those of you in the States, but that doesn't look like it's happening. It's all just right there so it depends on the speed of my computer, I guess…Sorry.

So, parting words for now, please leave a line and tell me how you feel. Even if it's a smack to the face and a blow to the pride, I'll take it.

Your sincerely,

Juliet.


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